Sometimes, as a mother, you say things. And then after they are out there in the universe you think to yourself "Did that just come out of my mouth"? There are some phrases that I never thought I would utter to my children, there are some things I just never thought I would say, then there are things that I say and then think "Who in their right mind says that"?
Things I said over the weekend that I never thought I would:
10. Where are your clothes? I know I didn't send you upstairs in your underwear.
9. Did you eat that? Please tell me you didn't eat that. It was on the bottom of your shoe.
8. We are going to church. There's no crying in church. And please don't lay on the floor either.
7. Yes, Father David that's a tattoo on his face. No he didn't specifically put it on for church. When did he put it on? Last night. Yes we did wash his face.... (looking for a rock to crawl under).
6. Please don't use your brother. Get a tissue.
5. Did you just fart on your brother? Tell him you're sorry.
4. If I have to tell you one more time to stop it, there will be no Halloween party for you. I will be happy to go to it and work it by myself (Huh?)
3. Please don't lick the dog.
2. Please get away from the Port-O-Potty. It's not a play thing.
1. (In a loud voice that most of the soccer field heard) PEOPLE POOP IN THERE. GET AWAY FROM THE PORT O POTTY (who uses port o potty twice in one day?)
And I wonder why I feel like I'm losing my sanity....