Sometimes, as a mother, you say things. And then after they are out there in the universe you think to yourself "Did that just come out of my mouth"? There are some phrases that I never thought I would utter to my children, there are some things I just never thought I would say, then there are things that I say and then think "Who in their right mind says that"?
Things I said over the weekend that I never thought I would:
10. Where are your clothes? I know I didn't send you upstairs in your underwear.
9. Did you eat that? Please tell me you didn't eat that. It was on the bottom of your shoe.
8. We are going to church. There's no crying in church. And please don't lay on the floor either.
7. Yes, Father David that's a tattoo on his face. No he didn't specifically put it on for church. When did he put it on? Last night. Yes we did wash his face.... (looking for a rock to crawl under).
6. Please don't use your brother. Get a tissue.
5. Did you just fart on your brother? Tell him you're sorry.
4. If I have to tell you one more time to stop it, there will be no Halloween party for you. I will be happy to go to it and work it by myself (Huh?)
3. Please don't lick the dog.
2. Please get away from the Port-O-Potty. It's not a play thing.
1. (In a loud voice that most of the soccer field heard) PEOPLE POOP IN THERE. GET AWAY FROM THE PORT O POTTY (who uses port o potty twice in one day?)
And I wonder why I feel like I'm losing my sanity....
10 comments:
Hahaha! I often have those moments too! No one warned us that we would make such bizzare statements when we became mothers. From my weekend: "Please stop licking the carpet." and "Your shoe is not a tissue." I'm sure there were more. But those are the ones I remember.
LOL!!! OMG I am in tears from laughing. I have my own list! One in particular:
"When you can't button or zip up your shorts then they are too small to wear...wait why are you wearing shorts? It's 60 degrees!"
...and exhale... Ok I feel better.
Off to re-read your list again!
Thanita
- Last I checked, I am not your maid.
- No, you may not wear your underwear on your head.
- Especially not the dirty ones.
- Yes, you need to take a bath. I'm sorry that you don't agree, but it is not an option. You are beginning to stink. (Said to child after the H1N1 bit a week and a half ago.)
- I am not a tissue.
- Get your finger out of your nose. I understand that you aren't going to eat the boogers and it appears as though you have one caught, but if you blow real hard, it'll come out. Stop trying to tickle your brain with your finger.
- Do not put that hat on. You'll get bugs in your hair and I'll have to cut it all off.
- You can wipe your own butt. I know you can.
- Stop throwing your tissues on the floor. What do you think happens to them when they land there? Take them to the garbage yourself.
- Carry your own backpack. I am not a pack mule.
- And my sister's favorite- Have you lost your mind?
This is awesome, as a person who works with kids, it made me smile a lot. :D
Ha, loved this post. My husband and I often pause and say, "bet you never envisioned yourself saying that!" but I can't remember them out of context. Thanks for the laugh.
These are hilarious. I wish I had written down some of mine through the years. The only one that comes to mind is when one son was developing a bad habit of saying, "Just a sec" when asked to do something. One day I had had enough and started to say firmly and loudly, "NO MORE SECS!!" Thankfully I realized what that would sound like and caught myself before it came out of my mouth.
Scott's mom used to tell her three boys that she was going to cancel Christmas.
They never believed her.
Oh Janeen, this made me laugh out loud! hehe I remember telling my boys "I've told you so many times, I may as well just record it and make it easier on me" or "Who was your maid yesterday?", etc. We moms are so well known for our "special" ways of saying things, aren't we! lol xoxo
thank you for the chuckle!
Very funny. You've come up with some I never said, but then, we didn't have a dog.
Post a Comment